just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
