Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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