Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
