you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
