I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Randomize
