Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Randomize
