Hey man sorry I got all grabby
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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