I saw his package. It spoke to me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
