i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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