i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
