Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
