i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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