used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
