I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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