get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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