the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
I queefed so loud it echoed.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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