Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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