maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Randomize
