3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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