is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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