Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
