Porn is love you can see.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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