Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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