what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
