He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
