To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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