The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
i out mim tonsoeep
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