The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize
