"it" just moved
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
