I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
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