Your mouth is God's brothel.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
