Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
