So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
