and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
