For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize