Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
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