is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
