she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
