Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
