i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
