i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Can you bring me the toilet please
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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