I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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