i think my mom watched the whole time
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
