Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
