Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Randomize