What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
