So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
