Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Randomize
