ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
third nipple confirmed
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
