pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
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