Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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