he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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