Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
meet me or not, i'm out of control
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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