that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Randomize
