i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
