well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I need to calm my uterus...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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