He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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