remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
