The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
