when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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