This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
